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Hoping to take his money to heaven with him, a man puts it in a box in the attic.
Series to use for chuckles in e-mail newsletters.
In Scotland, where the collection plate is rarely full, a pastor in a small church was taking the offering.
When the plate came back to the pastor to pray over the offering, he saw that the few pennies in it were even less than usual.
He held the plate up in front of him and said, "Well Lord, we thank you for he safe return of the plate."
An American history teacher, lecturing the class on the Puritans, asked: "What sort of people were punished in the stocks?"
To which a small voice from the back of the room responded: "The small investor."
"If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans."
The converse is also true.
"If God wants to make you laugh he will tell you his plans for you."
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