The Stewardship Resource Database

Fish this well-stocked pool for books, videos, articles, web links, stories, sermons, quotations, and much more! Most of these resources are free to copy or download from this site; some you can send away for, or ask permission from the publisher to use.

 

Displaying only resources of type: Humor - display all types

Humor  Humor
  • Author: Unknown
  • Updated: 10/11/2003

If you took the same excuses that people use for not going to church and applied them to other important areas of life, you'd realize how inconsistent we can be in our logic.


Humor  Humor
  • Author: Unknown
  • Updated: 10/11/2003

Ole is drinking a cup of coffee in the Fellowship Hall with nothing on but his boxer shorts.  

Sven comes up and asks him, "Well, Ole, how are tings?"

"Vell," Ole replies, "That preacher sure gave a  powerful stewardship sermon."

Sven: "Oh, is that so?"

Ole: "He says, 'You need to give God everyting ya got. I was sooo moved I vanted to do yust as he said but I couldn't."

Sven:  "But vhy didn't ya?"

Ole: "Oh, Lena says to me, 'That's quite enough Ole.'"


Humor  Humor
  • Author: Unknown
  • Updated: 10/01/2003

Cecil Rhodes was an enormously wealthy man. One day a newspaperman said to him, "You must be very happy."

Rhodes replied, "Happy?! No! I spent my life amassing a fortune only to find I have spent half of it on doctors to keep me out of the grave, and the other half on lawyers to keep me out of jail!"  


Humor  Humor
  • Author: Unknown
  • Updated: 10/01/2003

A Texas millionaire stipulated in his will that he be buried in his favorite possession: his $250,000 Rolls Royce. When the time came, two laborers were shoveling the last bit of dirt onto the now buried luxury car. One finally turned to the other and said, "boy! That's living!"  


Humor  Humor
  • Updated: 10/01/2003

Ralph the cab driver who had accumulated $700,000 and was going to retire. As was customary, the company gave him a farewell dinner. At the toast, Ralph said a few words.  

"I owe my retirement in part to my thrifty habits," said Ralph. "Even more, I owe it to the good judgment of my wife. But still more, I owe it to my aunt who died and left me $675,000."