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Displaying only: Humor - display all types
The young couples' Sunday school class was studying the story of Abraham and Sarah, who in their 90s were blessed with a child, Isaac.
"What lesson," the teacher asked, "do we learn from this story?"
A young mother blurted out, "They waited until they could afford it."
Did you hear about the wealthy Dallas oilman who went on vacation to Hawaii?
He went out to the beach one afternoon to discover that his wife had just been rescued from the surf, and was being revived by the lifeguards. "What are you doing?" he asked.
The lifeguards replied, "We are giving her artificial respiration."
"Artificial nothing," the oilman shouted, "Give her the real thing. We can afford it."
During the Great Depression, Bernard Baruch accumulated billions of dollars.
A reporter once asked him, "Mr. Baruch, I know you're a very wealthy man. How much is going to be enough?"
He said, "Just a little more."
A millionaire died one day after he had bequeathed half a million to his church and another half a million to each of his relatives.
At the cemetery, the preacher noticed that among the well dressed mourners was a shabby stranger who cried as though his heart were breaking. "I noticed you crying," said the preacher. "Were you related to the deceased?"
"No," the young man responded, "I wasn't related at all."
"Then, why are you crying?" queried the preacher.
The man replied, "I just told you because I wasn't related."
A wife came to the living room one day after having answered the front door. "There's a man at the door who wants to see you about a bill you owe," she told her husband. "What does he look like?" the husband inquired. "He looks like you'd better pay him," the wife declared.
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