Stewardship Resource

What Would Jesus Drive?

Humor  Humor
  • Author: Adapted from columns written by Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle and Roy Rivenburg of offkilter.org and the Los Angeles Times. E-mail: Roy.Rivenburg@latimes.com
  • Updated: 08/08/2008
  • Copyright: Roy Rivenburg
    From a copyrighted newspaper column www.offkilter.org/jesusdmv.html, distributed by Creators Syndicate.

Most people assume WWJD is for "What would Jesus do?" But the initials really have been changed to stand for "What would Jesus drive?"

One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because the Bible says, "God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury."

But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges Jesus to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm."

Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain "until the Ram's horn sounds a long blast."

Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel, where Christ tells the crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord ..."

Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills."

Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a hole in its muffler: "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land."

And, following Jesus' lead, the Apostles car-pooled in a Honda: "The Apostles were in one Accord."

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