In his autobiography about his conversion, "Surprised by Joy," C.S. Lewis describes a lifelong search for what he called Joy--a fleeting sense of longing he could neither grasp nor control but that had captured his imagination from his youth. He pursued and yearned for this Joy as "that sharp, wonderful stab of Longing ... [that] dashes in with the agility of a hummingbird claiming its nectar from the flower, then zips away. It pricks, then vanishes, leaving a wake of mystery and longing behind it" (from "Shadowlands and Songs of Light").
The search for God begins with wonder, longing, not-knowing. Here, we marvel at reality. Here, the prick of desire draws us into the mystery of all that is. Here, we sing with the psalmist: "O God, you are my God, I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water."
Psalm 63:1-8 (NRSV)
1 O God, you are my God, I seek you, my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
2 So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary, beholding your power and glory.
3 Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you.
4 So I will bless you as long as I live; I will lift up my hands and call on your name.
5 My soul is satisfied as with a rich feast, and my mouth praises you with joyful lips
6 when I think of you on my bed, and meditate on you in the watches of the night;
7 for you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I sing for joy.
8 My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.